What Is a Death Cafe and How Do You Find One Near You?

The short answer: A Death Cafe is an informal gathering where people meet over coffee and cake to talk about death. It is not a grief support group, a therapy session, or a sales pitch — it is simply a space for open, honest conversation about death, which most modern societies desperately lack. Death Cafes are free, secular, and hosted worldwide.

What Is a Death Cafe?

A Death Cafe is a free, informal gathering where strangers meet — usually in a coffee shop, community space, or online — to eat cake, drink tea or coffee, and talk openly about death. It is not a grief support group (you don't need to have lost someone), not a therapy session, and not an end-of-life services marketing event. It is simply a conversation space that almost no other institution in modern society provides.

The Origin of Death Cafes

The Death Cafe model was developed by Jon Underwood in London in 2011, inspired by the work of sociologist Bernard Crettaz (who organized his own "cafés mortels" in Switzerland). Jon Underwood died unexpectedly in 2017, but the Death Cafe movement he created has grown to over 14,000 events in 80+ countries. His family and colleagues continue the organization at deathcafe.com.

What Actually Happens at a Death Cafe

Death Cafes are deliberately unstructured. There is no set agenda, no trained facilitator required (though a host is present), and no predetermined outcome. People talk about whatever feels most alive around the topic of death — their fears, their losses, their beliefs about what happens after death, their end-of-life wishes, their experiences with dying people, their relationship with their own mortality. Conversations go wherever they go.

Participants are often surprised by how warm, funny, and life-affirming these conversations are. Talking openly about death turns out not to be morbid — it tends to generate gratitude, perspective, and connection.

Who Attends Death Cafes?

Death Cafe attendees include: people who have recently lost someone and want a non-clinical space to talk; people who are facing their own death or serious illness; hospice workers and death care professionals; curious people who simply want to talk about something that is usually taboo; people who want to think about their own end-of-life wishes; and philosophers, theologians, and death educators.

How Death Cafes Are Connected to Better Death

Research and advocates in end-of-life care consistently identify death avoidance as one of the biggest drivers of poor end-of-life outcomes: people die without their wishes known, families are left to make impossible decisions under grief, advance care planning is neglected. Death Cafes directly address this by normalizing conversation about death before crisis forces it.

How to Find or Host a Death Cafe

Find a Death Cafe near you: Go to deathcafe.com and use the event finder. Death Cafes are held in person and online worldwide.

Host your own: The Death Cafe website provides a free hosting guide. Anyone can host a Death Cafe — you don't need professional training, just a willingness to provide a welcoming space and some tea and cake.

Online Death Cafes: Since 2020, online Death Cafes have proliferated worldwide. These can be participated in from anywhere and are particularly accessible for people with mobility limitations or in areas without local events.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is a Death Cafe?

A Death Cafe is a free, informal gathering where people meet over coffee and cake to talk openly about death. It is not a grief support group or therapy session — it is a simple conversation space. Death Cafes are held worldwide and are open to anyone, regardless of whether they've experienced loss or are facing death themselves.

Who started Death Cafes?

The Death Cafe model was created by Jon Underwood in London in 2011, inspired by Swiss sociologist Bernard Crettaz's 'cafés mortels.' Jon Underwood died unexpectedly in 2017, but the movement has grown to over 14,000 events in 80+ countries and continues at deathcafe.com.

How do you find a Death Cafe near you?

Visit deathcafe.com to find Death Cafe events near you. Death Cafes are held in coffee shops, community centers, libraries, homes, and online. Use the event finder to search by location. Online Death Cafes, which proliferated after 2020, can be attended from anywhere.

Is a Death Cafe a grief support group?

No. A Death Cafe is not a grief support group — you don't need to have experienced a loss to attend. It is an open conversation about death and mortality for anyone who wants to talk about it. Grief support groups, by contrast, are specifically for bereaved people and often have professional facilitation and therapeutic goals.

Can anyone host a Death Cafe?

Yes. Anyone can host a Death Cafe — no professional training is required. The Death Cafe website (deathcafe.com) provides a free hosting guide. The requirements are simple: provide tea and cake (or equivalent), welcome anyone who wants to come, and don't try to direct the conversation to a particular outcome. The conversation finds its own way.

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