How to Care for Someone Dying at Home

The short answer: Caring for someone dying at home is one of the most profound acts a family can undertake. The majority of Americans say they want to die at home — but only about 30% do. With hospice support, preparation, and the right knowledge, home death is achievable for most families. This guide covers the practical, physical, emotional, and spiritual dimensions of caring for a loved one in their final weeks, days, and hours.

Setting Up the Home for Comfort Care

Prepare the home environment before it becomes urgent:

Hospital bed: Hospice can provide a hospital bed (electric, with adjustable head/foot) at no cost. It allows for repositioning, elevation, and easier caregiving. Consider moving it to the living room so the person is connected to the household.
Bedside commode: Getting to the bathroom becomes increasingly difficult. A bedside commode prevents falls and reduces effort.
Pressure mattress overlay: Prevents pressure sores in bed-bound patients.
Medical supplies: Gloves, washcloths, mouth swabs, bed pads, barrier cream — all available from hospice.
Medications: Hospice provides a "comfort kit" of emergency medications (morphine, lorazepam, haloperidol) to have on hand for pain, anxiety, or agitation.

Daily Physical Care

Turning and repositioning: Every 2 hours minimum for bed-bound patients to prevent pressure sores. The hospice nurse will teach you how.
Oral care: Keep the mouth moist with swabs even if the person isn't eating or drinking. Dry mouth is one of the most uncomfortable late-stage symptoms.
Skin care: Apply barrier cream to bony prominences. Check for redness indicating developing sores.
Medications: Follow the hospice schedule. Know where the comfort kit is and how to use it.

Emotional and Spiritual Presence

Be present: Your presence matters more than anything you say or do. Sit beside them. Hold their hand. They know you're there.
Say what needs saying: Express love, gratitude, forgiveness. "I love you. I'm here. It's okay to go." These words are not giving up — they are gifts.
Play meaningful music: Music reaches people even when they appear unresponsive. Play what they loved.
Speak to them: Hearing is believed to be the last sense to fade. Continue talking even if there's no response.

When to Call Hospice

Call the hospice nurse for: uncontrolled pain or agitation, significant changes in breathing or consciousness, falls, uncertainty about medications, and emotional support for yourself. The hospice nurse is available 24/7 — do not hesitate to call.

After the Death

When a hospice patient dies at home, call the hospice first (not 911 unless instructed). Hospice will send a nurse to pronounce death and begin the paperwork. You have time — there is no rush to move the body. Many families spend several hours with their loved one's body after death, and this is normal and allowed. A death doula can support you through these hours as well.

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you care for someone who is dying at home?

Set up the home with hospice-provided equipment (hospital bed, bedside commode). Learn to reposition, provide oral care, and administer medications. Be emotionally present — your presence matters more than anything else. Call hospice (available 24/7) for any concerns about pain, breathing, or medications.

What does hospice provide for home death?

Hospice provides a hospital bed, bedside commode, pressure mattress, medical supplies, and a comfort kit of emergency medications (morphine, lorazepam). They also send nurses, aides, social workers, and chaplains to the home on a regular schedule.

What should I say to someone who is dying at home?

Express love, gratitude, and forgiveness. 'I love you,' 'I'm here,' and 'It's okay to go when you're ready' are among the most meaningful things you can say. Speak even when there's no response — hearing is believed to be the last sense to fade.

What do I do when my loved one dies at home?

Call hospice first — not 911 unless instructed. Hospice will send a nurse to pronounce death and begin the paperwork. You are not required to move the body immediately; many families spend several hours with the person before the funeral home is called. This time is normal and valuable.

Can a death doula help with home death caregiving?

Yes. Death doulas can train family caregivers, sit vigil so caregivers can rest, provide emotional support during the dying process, and be present at the moment of death and in the hours afterward. Many work alongside hospice teams.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life professionals. Find support near you.