How Do You Pre-Plan a Funeral? A Step-by-Step Guide
By CRYSTAL BAI •
The short answer: Pre-planning a funeral involves documenting your wishes (burial vs. cremation, service type, music, readings), sharing them with family, and optionally prepaying to lock in prices. The most important step is having the conversation — because most families make poor decisions under grief without advance guidance.
Why Pre-Plan a Funeral?
Funeral pre-planning is one of the greatest gifts you can give your family. When a death occurs, loved ones are in shock and grief — and are asked to make dozens of decisions under extreme emotional pressure and time constraints. Families without a pre-plan often overspend, make choices the deceased wouldn't have wanted, and are left with regret. Pre-planning prevents all of this.
What Pre-Planning Involves
Pre-planning falls into two categories:
Documentation only (no financial commitment): You record your wishes in writing — burial or cremation, type of service, who should speak, what music you want, what to do with your body, who should receive your ashes — and share this with your family and executor. This is free and can be done today.
Pre-arranged/prepaid funeral: You make formal arrangements with a funeral home, potentially prepaying for services at today's prices. This locks in costs and reduces the family's financial burden. Read contracts carefully before prepaying.
Step-by-Step: What to Decide
1. Burial or cremation?
- Traditional burial: Full body preserved and interred in a cemetery
- Cremation: Body reduced to ashes, which can be kept, scattered, or interred
- Green/natural burial: No embalming, biodegradable materials, conservation land
- Aquamation (alkaline hydrolysis): Water-based cremation, available in select states
- Human composting: Available in select states (Washington, Oregon, Colorado, etc.)
2. Type of service?
- Traditional funeral with open casket viewing
- Memorial service (without body present)
- Celebration of life (more informal, celebratory tone)
- Graveside service only
- No service (direct burial or cremation)
3. Service details
- Music: 2–3 songs you want played
- Readings: Poem, scripture, or other text
- Who should speak: Family members, clergy, friends
- Where: Church, funeral home, outdoor location, home
- Who to notify
4. What to do with your body/remains
- Cemetery plot location (purchase in advance if desired)
- If cremated: where you want ashes scattered or stored
- Organ and tissue donation preference
How to Document Your Wishes
The simplest approach: write your preferences in a clear document, sign and date it, and give copies to your executor, a trusted family member, and your attorney. Do NOT put funeral wishes only in your will — wills are typically not read until days after death, too late to affect funeral planning.
Prepaying for a Funeral: Considerations
If you choose to prepay, ask the funeral home:
- Is the money held in a state-regulated trust?
- What happens if the funeral home goes out of business?
- Are all costs locked in, or only some?
- What happens if I move and want a different funeral home?
- Is the contract transferable?
The Conversation Is the Most Important Part
More important than any documentation is telling your family what you want — and making sure they know where your documents are. A pre-plan document that no one knows exists is useless. Have the conversation directly with your spouse, adult children, or executor. Many families find these conversations — though initially uncomfortable — to be among the most meaningful discussions they have.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is funeral pre-planning?
Funeral pre-planning means making decisions about your funeral and burial or cremation before your death — documenting your wishes (and optionally prepaying) so your family doesn't have to make difficult decisions under grief. It includes choices about burial vs. cremation, type of service, music, readings, and what to do with your remains.
Should you prepay for a funeral?
Prepaying can lock in today's prices and reduce your family's financial burden. However, read contracts carefully — ensure money is held in a state-regulated trust, understand what happens if the funeral home closes, and verify that your contract is transferable. Some prepaid plans are more flexible and consumer-protective than others.
Where should you keep your funeral pre-plan?
Keep copies with your executor, a trusted family member, your attorney, and in a clearly labeled folder at home. Do NOT put funeral wishes only in your will — wills are often not read until days after death, too late to affect funeral planning. Tell your family verbally where your documents are.
Can you pre-plan a funeral for free?
Yes. You can document your funeral wishes in writing at no cost — noting your burial or cremation preference, type of service, music, speakers, and any specific wishes. This free documentation, shared with family, is more valuable than an expensive prepaid plan with restrictive terms.
What decisions need to be made for funeral pre-planning?
Key decisions include: burial vs. cremation (and specific type — green burial, aquamation, etc.); type of service (traditional, celebration of life, graveside, or no service); specific music, readings, and speakers; where and how to dispose of remains; organ donation preference; and who to notify. Documenting these relieves enormous family burden.
Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate death doulas and AI-powered funeral planning tools. Try our free AI funeral planner or find a death doula near you.