How to Pre-Plan Your Own Funeral: A Step-by-Step Guide
By CRYSTAL BAI •
The short answer: Pre-planning your own funeral spares your family the burden of making difficult decisions while grieving, ensures your wishes are honored, and can save significant money by locking in today's prices. The key steps are: deciding on burial vs. cremation, choosing a funeral home, documenting your wishes, and telling someone where to find the documents.
Why Pre-Planning Your Funeral Is a Gift to Your Family
Most people avoid planning their own funeral because it feels morbid. But consider what happens when you don't: your family, in the immediate aftermath of grief and shock, must make dozens of decisions — casket, flowers, music, readings, burial vs. cremation, which funeral home, how many death certificates — under time pressure, while raw with grief, without knowing what you would have wanted. The result is often expensive decisions made in haste that may not reflect your values at all.
Pre-planning your funeral is one of the most loving things you can do for the people who will survive you.
Step 1: Decide on Disposition
The first major decision is what happens to your body after death:
- Traditional burial: Casket burial in a cemetery
- Cremation: More common than burial in the US as of 2015; ashes can be scattered, buried, kept, or made into memorial objects
- Green/natural burial: Biodegradable container, no embalming, natural burial ground
- Human composting: Legal in several states; body is transformed into soil
- Donation to science: Body donated to a medical school for teaching and research
Step 2: Choose a Funeral Home
Get price lists (legally required under the FTC Funeral Rule) from multiple funeral homes. Compare costs for the specific services you want. Consider a funeral home in a less expensive area — you are not required to use the closest one.
Step 3: Document Your Wishes
Write down your preferences for:
- Burial or cremation instructions
- Preferred funeral home or death care provider
- Type of service (religious, secular, celebration of life, graveside only)
- Music, readings, and speakers
- Flowers or charitable donations in lieu of flowers
- Clothing (what to be buried or cremated in)
- Where ashes should go (if cremated)
- Obituary preferences
Step 4: Consider Pre-Payment
Many funeral homes offer pre-payment options that lock in today's prices. If you pre-pay, make sure the money is placed in a state-regulated trust or insurance-funded arrangement, and understand the terms for cancellation or transfer if you move.
Step 5: Tell Someone and Document Where to Find It
Your pre-planning documents are useless if no one can find them. Tell your executor, closest family member, or death doula where your funeral pre-plan is stored. Consider keeping a copy with your advance directive and healthcare proxy documents.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is it too early to pre-plan my funeral if I'm healthy?
It is never too early. Funeral pre-planning is valuable at any age — especially for young parents who want to ensure their family is protected, or for anyone who cares about ensuring their wishes are known and reducing family burden.
Does pre-paying for a funeral save money?
It can, by locking in today's prices against future inflation. However, be cautious: ensure funds are held in a state-regulated trust, understand the cancellation policy, and verify what is included. Not all prepaid plans cover everything.
What if I change my mind after pre-planning?
You can revise your pre-plan at any time. Inform whoever holds your documents of the changes. If you have pre-paid, review the terms for modification or transfer.
Can a death doula help me pre-plan my funeral?
Yes. Funeral pre-planning — including documenting wishes, comparing funeral home prices, and ensuring family members know your plans — is a standard service that death doulas provide as part of advance planning work.
What is the Funeral Rule?
The FTC Funeral Rule requires funeral homes to provide itemized price lists over the phone and in writing. You are entitled to request prices for specific items only — you are not required to purchase packages. Knowing this can save hundreds to thousands of dollars.
Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life professionals. Find support near you.