What Is an Ethical Will? How to Write Your Legacy Letter

The short answer: An ethical will is a personal document that passes on your values, life lessons, hopes, and love — not your assets. Unlike a legal will, it has no formal requirements and can be written, recorded, or created in any form.

The Difference Between a Legal Will and an Ethical Will

A legal (or last) will distributes your financial assets and property. An ethical will (also called a legacy letter or spiritual will) passes on something different: who you are, what you believe, what you've learned, and what you wish for the people you love. It has no legal standing — and no requirements. It's a gift, not a document.

The History of Ethical Wills

Ethical wills have roots in ancient Jewish tradition — biblical figures like Jacob blessed and charged their children on their deathbeds. The practice appears across cultures: medieval European testaments often included moral instruction alongside financial bequests. Today it's being rediscovered as part of the broader movement around intentional end-of-life planning.

What to Include

There is no template. Common elements include:

Values — What principles shaped your decisions?
Life lessons — What do you know now that you wish you'd known earlier?
Gratitude — Who helped you, inspired you, or changed you?
Apologies and forgiveness — What unresolved things do you want addressed?
Hopes and wishes — What do you hope for your children, grandchildren, community?
Spiritual beliefs — What do you believe about death, meaning, what comes after?
Family stories — What do you want them to remember about where they came from?

How to Create Yours

Write a letter — addressed to specific people or to "whoever reads this."
Record a video — many people find speaking easier than writing; a smartphone is enough.
Make an audio recording — for those who don't want to be on camera.
Create a photo book — annotated with stories and meanings.
Work with a death doula — many specialize in facilitating legacy projects.

When to Write It

Now. You don't need to be dying to write an ethical will. It's a living document — many people revisit it annually, at major life milestones, or when someone they love is ill. The best time is when you're well enough to reflect clearly.

Frequently Asked Questions

What is an ethical will?

An ethical will (also called a legacy letter) is a personal document that passes on your values, life lessons, gratitude, hopes, and love to future generations. Unlike a legal will, it has no formal requirements and can be written, recorded, or created in any form.

Is an ethical will legally binding?

No. An ethical will has no legal standing. It is a personal expression, not a legal document. For legally binding instructions, you need a last will and testament drafted according to your state's laws.

How do I write an ethical will?

Start with a simple letter addressed to someone you love. Include what you believe in, what you've learned, what you're grateful for, what you hope for them, and what you want them to know about your life and values. There are no rules — write what feels true.

What should I include in an ethical will?

Common elements include core values, life lessons, gratitude, apologies or forgiveness, hopes for loved ones, spiritual beliefs, family history and stories, and what you want people to know about how you want to be remembered.

Can a death doula help with an ethical will?

Yes. Many death doulas specialize in legacy projects including facilitating ethical wills through guided interviews, recorded conversations, or written prompts. This can be especially helpful for people who find writing difficult or want help finding their words.

Renidy connects grieving families with compassionate end-of-life doulas, funeral planners, and grief support specialists. Find support near you.